and i'm sure they would love a piece of you for christmas. i sure as hell wood [see what i did there? hmmm....lame]....ahem, would.
but me thinks i have to be playin' nice to big r. he's still fuming that i tweeted his gig sucked. they, per se, did not a c t u a l l y suck...the "crowd" [is it a crowd when it's cougars and pub crawlers, or is that an infestation?]....and the venue sucked. big time. sucked the big, F A T, kumara. but i hurt the big r ego most when i complained that i was dragged out from the comfort of my bonds trackies.
i don't actually own a pair of bonds trackies.
they are HIS trackies.
and he lost them.[...distraught and panicked searching had ensued upon realisation of misplaced trackies.]
i have been harbouring them in the recesses of my drawers and only extracated them when the chance arose for prancing-dancing-lounge krumping-wannabe stomping-blog typing-friend skyping-all-alone-by-my-lonely-lonesomeness-home-only antics.
can anyone say B U S T E D ! ! ? [try it: high pitched, nasal and in a sing-song tone, bus-tehhhhhd]...anyways, i owe him an apology for blatantly lying to his face that i had "totally not seen them. in fact, i can't recall you even having them. are you sure?" and a pair of bonds trackies. tick christmas present: boyfriend. done. jokes. okay, so i digressed rather massively. ahem.
since the possibility of big r telling me to get my own bloody present this year [no probs] is quite high, please, if there are those of you housing a wood whittler in the family ranks....call me, i'd like to put an order in for a polar bear and perhaps a stag. can you whittle it out of kauri--ya know, keepin it realz in the n to the z? or is that a blasphemous-utmost-disrespectful-act in regards to maori culture?
...or to kester black mastermind, anna ross? apologies miss ross.
there's just something about this range that floats my boat...or is that, puts hay bales in my barn?....puts the crunch in my carrot?..suggestions?
anyway, i know i would just shit in my pants with excitement if i unwrapped one of these on christmas morning. [did i just say i'd shit my pants? yep, yep i did.] oh my.....