do you whittle?....

everyone this is kester black, kester black this is everyone.

and i'm sure they would love a piece of you for christmas. i sure as hell wood [see what i did there? hmmm....lame]....ahem, would.


but me thinks i have to be playin' nice to big r. he's still fuming that i tweeted his gig sucked. they, per se, did not a c t u a l l y suck...the "crowd" [is it a crowd when it's cougars and pub crawlers, or is that an infestation?]....and the venue sucked. big time. sucked the big, F A T, kumara. but i hurt the big r ego most when i complained that i was dragged out from the comfort of my bonds trackies.

i don't actually own a pair of bonds trackies.

they are HIS trackies.

and he lost them.[...distraught and panicked searching had ensued upon realisation of misplaced trackies.]

i have been harbouring them in the recesses of my drawers and only extracated them when the chance arose for prancing-dancing-lounge krumping-wannabe stomping-blog typing-friend skyping-all-alone-by-my-lonely-lonesomeness-home-only antics.

can anyone say B U S T E D ! ! ? [try it: high pitched, nasal and in a sing-song tone, bus-tehhhhhd]...anyways, i owe him an apology for blatantly lying to his face that i had "totally not seen them. in fact, i can't recall you even having them. are you sure?" and a pair of bonds trackies. tick christmas present: boyfriend. done. jokes. okay, so i digressed rather massively. ahem.

since the possibility of big r telling me to get my own bloody present this year [no probs] is quite high, please, if there are those of you housing a wood whittler in the family ranks....call me, i'd like to put an order in for a polar bear and perhaps a stag. can you whittle it out of kauri--ya know, keepin it realz in the n to the z? or is that a blasphemous-utmost-disrespectful-act in regards to maori culture?
...or to kester black mastermind, anna ross? apologies miss ross.

there's just something about this range that floats my boat...or is that, puts hay bales in my barn?....puts the crunch in my carrot?..suggestions?

anyway, i know i would just shit in my pants with excitement if i unwrapped one of these on christmas morning. [did i just say i'd shit my pants? yep, yep i did.] oh my.....

Tweet

show me some skin....

i don't like summer much. more because i cringe at the mere thought of some of the serious skin-age that will be on display rather than the weather, the extra daylight hours and the extra opportunities to indulge in some serious fun.

it seems the 'do not touch display' rules can magically disappear for some lovely young 'ladeez' as they try abysmally to cover their bits'n'bobs with, what appear to be, shorts [?] and a piece of string [?]....no, wait....it's a boob tube.

so, i have been M O R E than mortified by the crop-top-trend sported by many, pulled off by few [hanneli m is the few] but thought i'd give it a go.....to a friends house....and the dairy...that is all.

i think one has to build up experience points and a few more sessions on a medieval torture contraption parading as an exercise machine before one unleashes such a look on the unsuspecting public.

unless you're famous.

or a model.

by all means, go for gold on the daily.

mortals? add a cardi....

....and sneakers....

feels like a much more do-able look-and not in the skinflick sense-when it's h to t black? *shrug*

wearing: thrifted brocade crop top and crochet cardi, black linen skirt, random belt, karen walker sunnies and marle sneakers from the warehouse.

Tweet

i can do prim and proper....

....but i don't have to like it.

going against all my mannish tendencies for dressing myself, i popped this on.

feels wierd.

so, i'm selling it.

[wearing: twentyseven names dress, topshop seanna clog]

Tweet

i swear i have other clothes...

i have other clothes. honestly. i do. i S W E A R. [i also have a washing machine, just in case you were thinkin' the unthinkable. derelicte is good, actual dirty clothes...is not.]
buuuuuuut, i've found it easier to stick with a select few pieces, than open the can of "fashun" worms that is my closet. besides, who wants to wear worms?

i've also found my style slot? [this could be taken out of context...hmm]...my style...thingy-ma-bob! mannish/street/grimy/rock/hobo-with a pinch of lady.

this day-mannish.
i am no lady from fashion westie on Vimeo.
fyi. my nose is back where it should be-thanks vimeo!!
wearing: glassons shirt, random belt, sherie muijs pants, jeffrey campbell 'lita' boots.

Tweet