the leather t....

Big R is a man of few words, while I am a woman of many. 

Nothing new there.

But my verbal/blog post diarrhoea is getting out of hand and Big R agrees it must come to an end...or at least a reduction.

Fair call.

20,000 vs 13,000 [2006]
20,000 vs 7000 [2006]
8805 vs 6073 [2007]
7000 vs 2000 [2010]

These are the many and varied "factual averages" for the amount of words spoken by women versus men, in a day.

Hmmm...I think my results would skew more like:
300,000 vs 28 [2011]

Especially if I included blog posts. 102 used already and since I counted that out loud: double it on the spot = 204.

So, he's right. Who wants to read my rambling, ranting, grammatically and sometimes, politically incorrect non-fashion/style/buying/lookbook/collection reviewing crap?

No-one.

Here's some pictures then.

[wearing: mac russian red lipstick, charlie by revlon fragrance, thrifted leather tee, bag and pleat midi skirt, random navy socks and rubi sandals.]

Big R was tres excited when I asked him to help me get this top off. What guy wouldn't want to get 'hands on' after being required to remove a piece of your clothing--especially one that would expose your beloved chesticles?

People of the world: leather T's have NO STRETCH. Are NON-BREATHABLE. Tend to come LINED WITH POLYESTER.
Read: leather T's are rather difficult and unpleasant to remove.

So once the farcical and athletic attempts to strip me out of this top were a success, Big R had no energy left to pounce [yay] or many words left. He spent 27. His glorious use of his remaining 1?

"Fuck me! What a mission!"

I leant him 4 of my quota.

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the challenge....

Is camel a colour?

To answer my own question: yes. But in the true spirit of my quest for a super-colourful-kick-in-the-ass when it comes to getting dressed?: no.

Camel, beige, mushroom, ecru, tan, buff, oatmeal, sand, neutral, fawn, nude, biscuit: all colourful [many edible] words to describe a colour that is really just a different version of my good old wardrobe staple-black. Hardly adventurous, but oh-so-on-trend. Maybe colour isn't my thing?

I'll continue on in my colour-quest but if no dice, I'm ditching the bitch for....texture? Pattern? Clash?

But I did accent it with a coloured lip and shoe. HAH! Saved!

I change my answer: yes, camel is a colour.

[wearing: thrifted camel cable knit skivvy and leather pants, glassons belt, orbit wedges, scent: charlie by revlon and m.a.c. russian red lip]

And if I can't stake claim to the colour aspect, than I change it to the tonal dressing trend. Yep, THAT'S what I was going for the WHOLE time. Yeah. Uh-huh. My blog.....Blssssspppp!

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north of the horizon...

You have Celine-ites and Philo-phobes...so what designer-hyphen does one take on if you fan-girl over Karen Walker? Hmmm....

Walker's latest collection showed last night [eeeek! this means we're many months away from seeing it instore...] at New York Fashion Week bearing the title, 'North' and with the designer drawing inspiration from the Northern Soul dance scene [of which I know NOTHING and won't pretend to but I've read references to Northern Englands' Wigan Casino, fisherman and Dexy's Midnight Runners' album Searching for the Young Soul Rebels in other blogs and newspaper articles, so I'll put that all on the 'TO GOOGLE' list]-I suppose we are members of "Karen's Soul Club."

Not exactly a hyphen-able term, but the membership will do me nicely.

Frou frouu and ruffles prevalent in previous collections 'Salzburg, USA' and 'Perfect Day' were replaced by inserts of vinyl, leather patches and pleating. Midi lengths ruled the hemlines and my favourite cropped trousers remained in full force...YAY!

Strength lies in Walker's use of signature quirky prints and after seeing an abundance in 'Perfect Day', these were restrained for 'North' in terms of variety but striking against the sparse use of stripes and solid colour.
My pick of prints were the 'Patches of Honour' [don't quote, I can't think of a better description] and the orange based, 'Alphabet Soup' [see above], while the bright blue and yellow hues had me at hello.

Looser fitting shapes in grey and neutral hues, are bound to be wardrobe staples for many a Walker-fanatic [maybe this is the hyphen I've been looking for? unoriginal but doing the bizz], proving that the slouchy, wider trouser seen in the recent Menswear collections are going to be not only worn, but owned by us lady-folk too.

They say the 'devil is in the details' and for me, I'll be selling my soul for the brogues and boots.

One gripe. Oh yes, I dare to defy. The randomness of an oh-so-on-trend but looking like the out-of-place-nigel-no-mates was a red plaid dress with vinyl like sleeves. Don't get me wrong, I liked the dress...wait, I LOVED it.... but with no complimentary or accompanying pieces as such [unless, they were absent from this showing] it looked misplaced amongst the otherwise cohesive collection. Gripe over.

Who Would Wear Walker's North?
-Alexa Chung
-Susie Bubble
-Michelle Williams
-Emma Gleason of Rag Pony
-Coco Sumner
-Me

What Would Westie Wear?
-Patches Pants
-Brogues and Boots
-Blue Coat
-Grey How-Loose-Is-Your-Goose Trousers
-Alphabet Soup Dress
-Contrast Pocket Print Shirt

Preferably all at the same time-logistically difficult though not impossible if using one pair of shoes as a neckpiece and one pair of pants as a turban. Think about it.

[credit: all images sourced from fashionolgie.]

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fashion westie vs ?....

Well...it seems the winds of change are in the air and it's not just because some juvenile boyfriend [cough-cough, Big R] thought dropping a fart bomb and exclaiming "Howzat for 'winds of change'?" while I'm typing, would be funny. Such a child. We are about to embark on a new stage in our lives where we're responsible for moulding a little person and he still thinks farts are funny. Wait, so do I...our kids in trouble.....

But back to these winds of change, the serious ones. My second piece of news-drum roll-we are moving back to the North Shore!
YEEEEEAAAAHHHHH----BOOOOOYYYYYEEEEEEE! [Honestly, out loud Flava Flav styles is the only acceptable form of exclamation here.]

Bye bye West Auckland, hello Albany. 14 days. Not that I'm counting....who am I kidding? OF COURSE I'M COUNTING!

However. There IS a down side. My blog is fashion westie, not fashion shorechick. Hmmm...some logistical and factual issues to be sorted here....

BUGGER.

Felt a little Amish and it seemed inappropriate to colour my face. Unless....Do they have 'professional bedfellows' within the Amish community? Amish + pro = bad taste.

Anyway, took a punt on mixing a few current trends together and wasn't disgusted with the outcome.
-the voluminous look [which kind of suited the fact that my tummy is the pooch of all pooches and is a little Mad Men in the fullness]
-the midi length [which was not as old ladyish as I thought. Hiking the maxi skirt up under the chesticles gives the perfect midi length AND creates that sense of volume]
-the unexpected layering [the cut of the alexander wang shirt helps create a surprise element to standard layering with the cut-away hem. Baby steps in the layering department too people- it's still searing hot summer here! Otherwise, there would have been a cropped knit chucked on top]

[wearing: alexander wang shirt, linen maxi skirt worn as midi via trade me, cotton on bag and socks, clog sandals via trade me.]

So, I'm now in the midst....LIES....I'm now going to knuckle down and think through this blog issue of fashion westie vs fashion       ? shore chick? shorie? And the link implications....ow, my brain hurts.

Suggestions?

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baby steps....

I don't know what to say. I have been espousing my disdain for colour for a fair while now and am glaringly aware of it's intent on world domination. [Well, world 'wardrobe' domination this season anyway.] Yes, all thanks to the likes of recent collections seen at Jil Sander, Karen Walker, Michael Kors, Miu Miu, Max Mara, Giambattista Valli......[running out of breath]...it would be downright blasphemous not to step out in a rainbow hue or two...or three...all at the same time....head to toe....or is that LIPS to toes?

I am not blind. I see it. How can I not? Colours are BRIGHT people! And I will not lie, I am scared of it.

Not only is this constant bombardment from magazines, lookbooks, websites and blogs shaking my hardcore contempt of bright colours and stubbornness to remain true to my preferred earthly, grimy, non-colour palette, [breathe] it has beaten me into daydreaming of swathing myself in bloody blocks of the stuff!

Orange pants paired with a white tee and indigo heels? Sounds like a mighty fine idea. Or perhaps I could go a boxy yellow shirt, floral blazer and fuschia pants.....? Oh but to dream.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Baby steps.

[Baby] Step 1: Bright lips.

[Baby] Step 2: Procure one garment per colour of the rainbow.
Step 3: Actually wear them.
[Baby] Step 4: Contemplate that for a hardcore non-colour person, Step 3 may never eventuate.
Step 5: Have faith.

[wearing: random dollarstore lipstick a la jil sander, dotti trench coat, glassons gingham shirt, vintage boucle waistcoat, vintage suede shorts, random socks and black suede crossover platform clogs a la celine]

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i wish i had more acne....

As far as I'm concerned, you can never have enough acne.

Having only experienced ONE occurrence of acne in my life, I could do with a bit more.....







You know you want some Acne too.....

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last photographic evidence...

There comes a time when one must accept some facts-of-life.

I have [at the peril of off-siding many bloggers] decided to face two in particular.

1. Denim shorts in the form of cut-offs are DONE-SKI! Including variations such as, but not limited to: raggedy bits resembling tampon strings, hemlines folded/rolled dangerously close to your lady-bits [especially sans-tights], hemlines folded/rolled exposing lower part of gluteus maximus [even if it's a nicely tanned minimus] and pocket flaps on show.

Guilty of ALL MOST at some stage in my life-but NO MORE! I'ma gonna leave it to the Supre-Temt-ValleyGirl-shopping-high-side-pony-tail-black-sock-black-canvas-shoe-mini-tan-satchel-toting-baggy-off-the-shoulder-top-wearing-13-year olds that 22+ men boys guys dudes enjoy perving at.

2. High Waisted Anything garments that are now readily available from your local/online store and no longer require the [totally funnest, best thing in the world to do] traipsing about from Op Shop to Market to Mums/Nanas Closet looking for vintage versions that do the trick nicely. DONE-SKI! But for far different reasons. Very, very poo-stinky, unavoidable reasons that do dishearten me somewhat. Obviously, a side effect of having a 'bun in the oven' also means said bun makes my oven protrude and therefore prevents one from wearing ANYTHING remotely high waisted. Gutted. [Or is that reverse gutted?]

For seven of nine months....and most likely beyond...low riding or under-bust are my options. yay.

So.....here lies the last piece of photographic evidence that I was capable of achieving either of these sartorial pleasures[?].

wearing: vintage lurex cardi, pintucked sleeveless shirt and diy levi denim high waist shorts, no1 patent flatform sandals.

From now on, expect to see a pot-bellied westie.

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roman sandals. my new obsession...

There is something about Mary, apparently. But I think there is something BETTER about Healthform's Roman Sandals. The Kiwi staple school sandal that most kids detest [as I did since it was the mandatory uniform summer sandal deemed appropriate by the powers that be...Mrs Selmeci...and therefore I was obliged to hate them, it was mandatory.] and I have not duly recognised them as having any remotely redeeming style features...until now.

I have been obsessing over 'The Romans' for a few months now. Ever since my sister decided she wanted my old pair for school. My Romans.

"Did she just ask me? For my Romans?"
"I think she did!"
"Bitch!"

I had done all the hard work of breaking them in: whacking them on concrete kerbs, standing on the backs and [ever stylishly] wearing them with socks to stop the ever-ominous occurrence of Big-Toe-Blisters. These bastard shoes are akin to walking in flippers, ski's or perhaps try strapping old wooden tennis rackets to your feet and pop down to your local dairy. It was a little like a ballerina breaking in a new pair of pointes.

Literally.


Howev's, I digress.


'The Romans' had been flung in some corner of my closet and I still can't tell you why I hadn't ACTUALLY thrown them away, as I had declared with such certainty I would on the last day of school.


So for *spit* Her to ask *indignantly* Me for them and have it cause such an emotional response was, well, rather surprising. I had to face facts. I LOVED The Romans. I put so much of myself [and sweat.....ewwwww] into The Romans. Like bloody hell she was wearing MY Romans. Therefore I stated matter-of-factly that I was still [read: going to start] wearing them and no, she could not. She'd have to get her own.


It's a Rite of Passage I would be denying her.


Anyhooz, to the whole point of this ever-growing post; I have become obsessed with The Roman Sandal and have happily been wearing them for months now.

Top Row L-R: black, navy, brown and forest green.
Bottom Row L-R: red, tartan, white and punched out black.


I only wish they came in other, more FASHUN colours. Imagine: soft beige, suedes, patent, studded, tan....or.......




THAT WOULD BE SO COOL!

Besides, if Gala Gonzalez of Am-Lul.com is rockin' a version of the Roman Sandal....then maybe we all should be?

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