the obsession | hair...

This is the hair I'm gonna gun for.

Blondie/Cruella/Jessie J/Ombre/esque.....

....when Lil Westie is A] out and safe from chemical fallout and B] has decided I can escape for the no-doubt-really-long-and-rather-consuming-process time frame required to physically assault my hair and abuse it into something reminiscent of this:

image scan from US Vogue March 2011

I hope to make this obsession a reality.

Now to find a hair extraordinaire....

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the outfit | femme...

You wondered where the outfit posts had disappeared to. And I have ummed and ahhed for the past few days as to whether I want this image going public.

Take a picture kiddies, because it is probably the first and last time you will EVER see me in a dress-sans-tights-skinnys-or-shorts. Or moreso, in a dusky femme pink.

EVER!

Bloody family dinners really rip my undies when it is deemed ne-cess-ary that one must dress nice for Grandma. Don't get me wrong, love her to bits but geez.

Don't think I'm turning a sartorial leaf or reaching a wardrobic epiphany. This shit is purely for G-Ma.

[thrifted fuzzy wuzzy jumper, shakuhachi shag vest, beau coops frankly 03 in grey suede, silver cuff from victoria park markets, dress from plus size section k-mart]

You read right: K Mart dress. $6.49. Like I was gonna spend more than $10 bucks on a pink dress.

Now to get back in dark, murky, wardobe depths that I am comfortable in...when will this neon, brights, colour blocking, lady-like trend shit end? Nice to look at, crap for me to wear.

Just saying.

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the purchase | push presents...

I would apologise for the lack of outfit posting, but I think I'm doing you a bloody favour....so appreciate it.

[And I am not looking for sympathy but honestly I resemble the fat, huffy, puffy kid and do my clothes no photographic justice. Howevs, this is a personal style blog and will humiliate myself very shortly when I've figured a way to set the timer on the camera and lumber my rotundness into position quick enough before..."click". Okay? Okay.]I'm at the 32 week mark, leaving [supposedly] 8 weeks before P-Day.




Push Day.

And in the spirit of celebrity Mum's, Richie has embraced [READ: been guilt-tripped-into] the idea of the "Push Present".

Hey, see how YOU feel about the idea of pushing a pumpkin through the eye of a needle and then get back to me about the ethics of wanting SOMETHING [other than a very cute and healthy little person, obvies] for your efforts. Humans work quite effectively and efficiently on a reward-for-effort system. This situation is no different. And considering what I've put my body/Am about to put my body through, verbal recognition and praise WILL NOT CUT THE MUSTARD!

So this is coming my way...

[mulberry bayswater via net-a-porter, complexgeometries long strap tank via goodasgold, acne pistol short boots and cdg wallet via scotties]

Hey, don't judge...Rachel Zoe got a $100,000USD ring. Run THAT through xe currency converter.

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the label | harputs own

Currently obsessed with architectural, asymmetrical, sculptural, minimal, intellectual, drape-ical, magical, complex-ical but simple garments.

Reverting, retreating, enveloping myself in my favoured un-hues of black, white, grey, navy and stone.

Wanting only voiles, cottons, tencels, linens, leathers, wools and silks.

Harputs OWN fully OWNS this obsession of MINE. 

They turn the generic into statements.

3HOLE BLAZER

3HOLE TOP

HERO DRESS

RAW SILK SUMMER VEST

SWACKET

TENCEL KANKLE PANTS

LINEN TRENCH

VENT SKIRT

LINEN TRENCH, TENCEL 3HOLE DRESS AND COTTON COATED 3HOLE BLAZER.












I want to make all these pieces Westies OWN.

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the outfit | leather...

My go to pants when 29 weeks preggernant?

Leather [ette/ish/esque-add you preferred suffix]!

Yeah. I. Am. THAT. Cool.

[wearing: dotti pants, edelman boots, thrifted aviator, glassons shirt]

Bought a second pair for post-preggernacy, I'm that much in love.

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the covet: acne low rider boot...

I never thought I would be "into" Low Riders again and shudder at the connotations those to words conjure for me. There's the "Gangstas" chosen method of vehicular transportation that makes no sense to me whatsoever, other than to increase your goober factor or your visits to the chiroprator for misalignment of the spine. Or perhaps the thought of exposed g-bangers/butt floss/t-strings, as Lee Rider denim-clad-uber-blonded-ultra-straightened-and-clip-in-hair-extensioned females crouched/walked/sat/existed instantly springs to mind?

Until now.

If there was ever a shoe obsession that would end all my shoe obsessions, these would be it. If I had to pick my ONE-LAST-SHOE, these would be IT! Keep your Acne Pistols you lucky bastards who strut the streets in them day-after-damn-day taunting moi....I want....

The Acne Low Rider [imagine the voice of the guy from Letterman and add echo effect..much, much cooler]

The fact that it looks like I stubbed my boot excites me, as I am a chronic big-toe-stubber and could use the exra protection. [Does this mean I can write it off as a work expense? "Safety Boots= $715"]

Plus, come on. They're just plain COOOOOOL! And therefore, I would be cool by association...oh yeah, I AM that shallow....A LOT!

You know you want them too. And you want to share them with me. In fact, you want to give me them. Because I am not cool or hip or whatever you kids call yourselves these days, and you feel the need to do a good deed. Help someone less fortunate than yourself. Increase you good karma. Buy me some cool. Just please don't get them confused with some g exposing denim or a gangsta car. Neither are of any good to me.

Available from Acne Studios, StyleServer, Creatures of Comfort, and tobi.com.

Now, to find A] some serious extra cashola and B] a way to circumvent the exorbitant New Zealand customs duty and taxes...

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the outfit: holy grail...

I have been on the hunt for the perfect layer-y/white-y/kimono-y/three-quarter-to-full-length-sleeve-y/smock-y/trapeze-y/tent-y dress. The Holy Grail of dresses.

Do you think I can find one that fits that description?

Do you think I can find one that fits on this bod?

Nuh-uh.

Though I have found the perfectly tan hued knit shorts and innumerable perfectly sloppy knit jumpers-slash-dresses-[if-you-wear-them-with-shorts-and-tights]. A fair few perfectly hued silk-wannabe shirts in navy's, tan's, mustard's and creamy beige's. Also spotted the perfect alternative to Acne's "Pistol" boots while across the way, another store was stocked with cut-price onesies/jumpsuities/romperies/thingies that would definitely ring perfect for next season [and post-bump]. I even found a perfect manstyle grey shorter length pleat trouser- $19!!

Did I indulge in ANY of these perfect finds?

Did you SEE how my body can make these perfect items look so totally repulsive that the girl in the next fitting room decided to put her exact garment back to the rack with the "I smell poo!" expression on her face?

[wearing: glassons clog boots, fave jacket, handy tank, infallible maxi and tux dresses]

Nuh-uh...but I was wearing my clog boots that are the Holy Grail of footwear in my fatty-fatty-boom-boom state, enabling me to traipse around for hours on end in search for this elusive dress.

EDIT: As Blogger went down while writing the original,

This is not the Greatest Post in The World,
No!
This is just a Tribute.
Couldn't remember The Greatest Post in the World, No.

No!
This is a tribute, oh,
To The Greatest Post in the World,
All right!
It was The Greatest Post in the World,
All right!
And it was the best mother fuckin' post,
The Greatest Post in the world!
Allllllright!

'Ti Tuga digga tu Gi Friba fligugibu Uh Fligugigbu Uh Di Ei Friba Du Gi Fligu fligugigugi Flilibili Ah
(Bow) (Bow) (Bow) (Ooh) (Bow) (Bi)
Fligu wene mamamana Sacrebleu!
(Mene) (LUCIFER)!
(guitar solo)

And the peculiar thing is this my friends:
the post I wrote on that fateful night it didn't actually read
anything like this post!

This is just a tribute!
You gotta believe it!
And I wish you were there!
Just a matter of opinion.

Ah, fuck!

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the outfit: grey days...

The days are greyer, the skies are often spilling rain and the lighting for blog images is getting progressively worse.

This particular morning, the mist hung heavy [and actually lasted much of the day] and the air was just a tad chilly meaning I could get away with a grey chiffon trouser as long as I chucked a knit and shearling jacket in the mix.

Fully getting into the metal-cuff-over-sleeve-cuff vibe.

Thanks Rich for "loaning" me your vintage CK knit. I dubbed it the 'Charlie Brown' for it's zig zaggy front.

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the outfit: colour punch...

Trying to insert colour into an outfit, in a Kiwi way, is not an easy thing.
Though we have labels like World who use FANTASTICAL-TECHNICOLOUR-DREAMCOAT like hues in many of their collections to accompany neutral toned garments, a lot of our designers stick to subdued, earthy, sombre, gothic palettes with the occasional punch in the face of accenting colour.

So, I thought I'd try doing just that.

A punch of colour.

[wearing: brocade dress over max skivvy dress, ooby ryn 'bear coat' via gransloosechange and glassons clog boots]

Okay, more a pinch of colour. On a black based outfit. Accent colour. Grey cloudy day. It all seemed to tone quite well.

Also loving the clog boots...such an easy option and in my fatness it's also the heeled-option-that-is-not-really-a-heel-and-is-oh-so-stable-so-it's-nice-and-safe.

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the outfit: burgundy...

Like many a person out there, claret, beet, port, wine, pomegranate and other reddy-based-foodie-words-that-describe-the-colour-that-I-refer-to-as-burgundy [breathe] has become an obsessive colour for me to procure as many wardrobic items as humanly possible, in a small space of time.

A colour that I have shrugged off, turned my nose up at and declared was purely for those who belong to the 'Bring Back The Nineties and Not In A Good Way' brigade. I eat my burgundy felt hat and apologise profusely for being such a judgemental douchebag.

Burgundy has now infiltrated my clothed life in many forms: socks, tights, eyeshadow, nail polish, v-neck knit, felt hat, lipstain and a shearling-esque jacket.

[wearing: thrifted jacket and boots, dollarstore deer bag and bullet pendant, 2 gypsies pendants, glassons felt hat, kmart jeans, deadly ponies 'mr mohawk lure' bag charm, nyne tee, rings by diva]

Next on the list is a maxi dress, pleated tailored or slouchy homie 90's pants [still undecided] and the perfect button up.

EDIT: Thanks ANONymous, I have fixed my MAJOR faux pas and exposed my talent for being unable to spell. It goes with my huge talent for making up words.

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