There is nothing in this world that can blow the cover of your secret online purchases and deny you the ability to use one of the following excuses like your partner turning up home unexpectedly early from work.
- "This? This is so old. Seriously. Pardon? You haven't seen it before? I swear, you never pay attention to me ay, ever and you wonder why I get so mad at you. You're such a dick sometimes! Do you see me having a mental about your precious carbon fins? Didn't think so. God, leave me alone. I don't even wanna go now. Go out by yourself. Take your stupid fins with you."
- "Jac gave this to me. Yeah, she bought it but it didn't really suit her, so she gave it to me! Cool ay?!"
- "This? Got it off trade Me. Such a bargain."
A] totally stoked to have him to watch Jersey Shore with [well, while he was within the same four walls as me] and
B] smugly safe in the knowledge that nothing was going to turn up on the doorstep that shouldn't be.
Because I am broke-skis.
And trying to be transparent about all "these old things" floating around in the closet.
And we are moving soon.
And the horrid truth of my hoarding is unfolding before me.
So when a courier truck pulled up at the door, he looked at me and I froze on the spot, mind frantically recalling anything I may have accidentally ordered online [which I was damned sure I hadn't]. He leapt up, I bolted for the door. Adrenaline pumping, excuses-excuses-spinning through my head-feasible-not feasible-half truths-s**t-s**t-f**k-f**k-what the hell?-I'm in so much trouble-why do I feel so god damn guilty?
I unwrapped the parcel, my mind still running two steps ahead trying to fathom if I had some serious explaining to do or not. Richie's beady [yeah, I said beady] eyes scanned my face and I have no doubt he was formulating some sort of scathing verbal attack to bring me to my knees in shame at being totally caught the f**k out this time.
But rainbows, butterflies and warm, fuzzy hugs, wrapped in that string tied parcel was a pair of bold orange* and black spotted Happy Socks with the cutest note attached from the pair behind Wocolate**.
I actually sighed in relief.
And then I did a little happy dance because I was so damned happy with these Happy Socks. At only $24NZD get a pair here and get happy, yo!
|wearing: Richies beanie, Kmart men's sweatshirt, old chopped Levis, Happy Socks c/- Wocolate and ASOS men's brogues.|
**[my 'go to' e-tailers for cool stuff].